Arrogant Empire

Im kind of upset as to what happened to me this past weekend. But before I get into all that I got something to say. I'm getting real tired of women deceiving men with your weaves and make up and fake nails and padded underwear and bras. Its kinda hard to tell whose real and whose fake. Women have NO right to give their opinion about anything until you all be real with yourselves and stop faking. When I meet a girl in the club I kind of treat it like math class. Lets say I meet a girl and she is a solid 9. I minus .5 for weave -1 for make up -.25 for fake nails -.5 for a push up bra. Fake hand bags get a 2 point deduction but we won't use that variable for this equation. That same chick that was a 9 in the club drops down to 6.75. I carry a calculator when I party and before I take someone home I do my numbers. This is very important because I DO NOT want any surprises in the morning. This is a strong calculation that is accurate to within .00001. Its a quick way to determine what a chick looks like fresh out the shower before all the additives. Im not bashing women, I LOVE yall soo much. Shout out to the natural beauties out there that don't need all that extra stuff but its a treat when you use it. Im not talking about you dread head chicks though, walking around with dirty hair looking like Bob Marly's nephew and shit. Dreads on women are a #Fail. Anyway back to the topic of this blog... BIG BELTS.

This past weekend I had a little gathering at the Arrogant Empire headquarters and there was some nice looking ladies up in the spot. One particular girl caught my eye, her name was Samantha. Me and Samantha hit it off early. She was fine man, body shaped like an hour glass, boobies up to her chin, ass looking crazy, pretty eyes, she had it goin ON! As the night came to an end and the drinks stopped flowing I convinced Samantha to stay the night with me. First mistake, I didn't have my calculator handy and my beer goggles were on deck. Second mistake, well I wouldn't call it a mistake, lets just say I was ignorant to the fact as to what a belt can do for the female body. Any way, I walk her upstairs into my room and tell her take a seat on my water bed ;-) I scrolled through my ipod and pressed play on DMX first cd to set the mood. When it comes to sex Im the kinky type, so I told her "Yo strip for me real sexy like yo." She stood up and unbuttoned her top 3 buttons and to my surprise.....Her titties didn't pop out. "Strange" I thought. She starts winding real slow looking at me in my eyes and when "Get at me dog" came on she really went for it. As she unhooked her big ass belt something weird happened. This bitch literally busted at the seems. Her love handles unfolded and her titties dropped down to her toes. Her previously flat stomach morphed into a beer gut. I kindly asked her to leave and had a conversation with my roommates about the fuck shit that just happened.
Big Belts are the basic bitches lipo suction. #nevertrust a fine women in a big belt. Bitches walking around with these wwf belts looking like world champs and shit. I fell for it once but never again. This teqnique has been used since the old days with the invention of the corset. Its a cheap option for broke women that still wanna look good without going under the knife. Fellas pay attention to this Im puttin yall up on some game right now. I know all my female readers are mad that Im leaking your secrets to the public but fuck it, this is what Im here for. To spit the truth and nothing but the truth so help me god.

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