Arrogant Empire

Last weekend my nigga Giovanni Jettson sat in on one of our sessions and snapped some pictures. Just another night at the Empire.

I met him down Adam's Morgan in DC. He was tall, caramel skinned, with mid back length dreads…..sexy dreads. I'm a real sucker for nice looking dreads. Me and my homegirl were walking to the jumbo pizza place when he walked past me. I glanced up, saw him then had to turn around and do a double take because he looked too damn good. He also turned around and caught me staring. He looked me dead in my eyes and smiled. It was a done deal from there.

Fast forward to 4 weeks later
He's on top of me with his shirt off, kissing on my neck. He lifts my shirt up, pulls my titties out my bra then starts sucking on them for a while. Afterwards, he slowly moves down, kissing my stomach all the way down to my belly button. He gets to my jeans and looks up at with a smirk before undoing them and pulling them down. He slowly slides them all the way off. I'm left in my thong. He spreads my legs and begins to kiss my inner thighs, getting close to my cat but then going back down. He's teasing me. He keeps doing this until my legs start to shake with anticipation. He finally moves all the way up, uses one hand to slid my panties aside, and gets to work. He starts off with long slow licks up and down, sensual type licks. He slowly increases the speed and intensity of his licking.Then he started doing some type of magic tricks with his tongue. I don't know what it was that he was doing but it just felt SO GOOD. My pussy was getting so wet that it sounded like his tongue was swimming. It was so good that my eyes started tearing up. I'm moaning heavy. Then he stops and sucks on my clit as he slides two fingers in (NOTE TO MEN: Just like you want women to use their hands, you need to use yours too!) So he's sucking while using his fingers to explore the pussy. I'm loving it. Soon I feel my self about to cum. With my back arched up all high, I half moan/half yell that I'm about to cum and grab his head. Just as I do that he pulls his fingers out and sucks on my pussy just in time for me cum in his mouth. He licks all around my pussy before getting up and laying next to me. With my legs shaking I take a minute to regain my senses. Then I get up.

My turn! And I love sucking dick. As soon as I pull down his jeans his dick springs up. He's already rock hard. It was very big, especially thick. I don't tease, I get right to business. I start off by licking the underside, right were the balls and shaft meet, before moving down to his balls. I alternate on sucking each one. Then I slow lick all the way up his shaft, stop at the frenulum and slowly massage it with my tongue before sliding his whole dick in my mouth. It was very thick so I had to suck at an angle so my teeth wouldn't hit it. I go ALL the way down, my lack of a gag reflex really came in handy. I start off fast then alternate between fast and slow. I massage his balls as I suck. Every few moments I'd stop and lick all around the shaft, suck his nuts a little bit then move back up and start sucking again. It doesn't take long before I feel his dick getting tense, I know he's almost "there". So I switch up to my suck and beat technique.

(I'm going to let ya'll in one of my secrets, this really helps if a dick is too long: get the dick extra wet, then grab it tightly with your hand and beat it a little bit. Afterwards start sucking again with your hand still clenching the dick. Now make sure that your hand is right up to your lips, kind of like your kissing your hand, and beat and suck at the same time with your mouth and hand NEVER separating from each other. Guys go CRAZY over that! Just make sure you apply firm pressure with your hand.)

So I start doing that and dude is loving it. I'm sucking and beating fast. He puts his hand on my head and slows down my pace. Some ladies hate when a dude puts his hand on their head but I love it. it lets me know what pace he wants me to go at. So he guiding my head up and down at a slow but steady pace. Soon, his dick gets ROCK hard, I already know whats coming. He pushes my head all the way down and lets out a loud moan, before shooting his load in the back of my throw. He lets go of my head, but I continue to suck very slowly just to make sure I get all the skeet out. And of course I swallowed....

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I'm tired of all these people who cheat with ratchet ass bitches. Now don't get it twisted, this is for women too. A ratchet ass bitch can be a male or female. Now everyone knows what a ratchet ass bitch is, right? Ok. What you do not want to do is take the chance of ruining a perfectly good relationship by messing with one. If you're going to cheat there are 3 rules every one should go by. 3. They should have more money than the person that you're with. Money doesn't mean everything but it sure makes a whole lot of shit better. 2. They should look better than the person that you're with. No explanation necessary. The last and most important rule is 1. They should be better in bed than the person that you're with. Because let's face it- isn't that why you're cheating in the first place. I mean c'mon, there's nothing like cheating with someone that knows how to eat the pussy or suck a mean dick! Now if you can find someone who meets all the aforementioned rules then you should dump the person you're with and get with the person that you're cheating with. If not, it should be at least 2 outta 3. Again 2 outta 3. Now I don't condone cheating, if my man cheats he might as well grab his ankles and kiss his ass goodbye, cause it's over. But if he is going to cheat, it makes me feel better as I'm beating the shit out that hoe that he at least has some standards.

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Ok this actually happened to me before only I was with a girl but Im curious to know how you all would handle the situation. So lets say that your out at the disco and you meet the man of your dreams. Im talking about this nigga is PERFECT. You two exchange numbers and talk until the sun comes up about baby names and wedding dresses and all that gay ass stuff women talk about. You agree to go out on a date. This nigga picks you up in a brand new sports car and takes you out for chinese. He makes you laugh cry and feel sexy all at once. After dinner is over you go back to his place and its baaaaallllliiinnnnnn!!!!!! You sit by the fire place and sip wine while talking about politics and your favorite sexual position. By now your turned on and when he leans over and kisses your neck your panties get soaked. He raises your shirt and starts massaging your breasts when your stomach starts to bubble and you let out silent but deadly fart. "Oh god" you think to yourself "maybe chinese wasn't the best meal for a first date." You excuse yourself and ask where the bathroom is while squeezing your ass cheeks together running full speed as he's giving you directions. When you finally reach your destination you sit down just in time as an avalanche of SHIT cascades its way out your smelly rectum. At this point your feeling super embarrassed, not only did you fart in front of prince charming but now your on his toilet taking a huge poop. "How did I end up here?" You think between pushes "I hope he doesn't get turned off, I really wanted to fuck this dude." You reach for the toilet paper and realize there is none in sight.... When you flush, the poop is so big that it won't go down and the toilet starts to overflow. So now your standing in an inch of toilet bowl water with a shitty ass and no toilet paper or reasonable substitute in sight! WHAT DO YOU DO???????? Fellas you can flip this scenario around and put yourself in the situation. What would my niggas do?

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Im kind of upset as to what happened to me this past weekend. But before I get into all that I got something to say. I'm getting real tired of women deceiving men with your weaves and make up and fake nails and padded underwear and bras. Its kinda hard to tell whose real and whose fake. Women have NO right to give their opinion about anything until you all be real with yourselves and stop faking. When I meet a girl in the club I kind of treat it like math class. Lets say I meet a girl and she is a solid 9. I minus .5 for weave -1 for make up -.25 for fake nails -.5 for a push up bra. Fake hand bags get a 2 point deduction but we won't use that variable for this equation. That same chick that was a 9 in the club drops down to 6.75. I carry a calculator when I party and before I take someone home I do my numbers. This is very important because I DO NOT want any surprises in the morning. This is a strong calculation that is accurate to within .00001. Its a quick way to determine what a chick looks like fresh out the shower before all the additives. Im not bashing women, I LOVE yall soo much. Shout out to the natural beauties out there that don't need all that extra stuff but its a treat when you use it. Im not talking about you dread head chicks though, walking around with dirty hair looking like Bob Marly's nephew and shit. Dreads on women are a #Fail. Anyway back to the topic of this blog... BIG BELTS.

This past weekend I had a little gathering at the Arrogant Empire headquarters and there was some nice looking ladies up in the spot. One particular girl caught my eye, her name was Samantha. Me and Samantha hit it off early. She was fine man, body shaped like an hour glass, boobies up to her chin, ass looking crazy, pretty eyes, she had it goin ON! As the night came to an end and the drinks stopped flowing I convinced Samantha to stay the night with me. First mistake, I didn't have my calculator handy and my beer goggles were on deck. Second mistake, well I wouldn't call it a mistake, lets just say I was ignorant to the fact as to what a belt can do for the female body. Any way, I walk her upstairs into my room and tell her take a seat on my water bed ;-) I scrolled through my ipod and pressed play on DMX first cd to set the mood. When it comes to sex Im the kinky type, so I told her "Yo strip for me real sexy like yo." She stood up and unbuttoned her top 3 buttons and to my surprise.....Her titties didn't pop out. "Strange" I thought. She starts winding real slow looking at me in my eyes and when "Get at me dog" came on she really went for it. As she unhooked her big ass belt something weird happened. This bitch literally busted at the seems. Her love handles unfolded and her titties dropped down to her toes. Her previously flat stomach morphed into a beer gut. I kindly asked her to leave and had a conversation with my roommates about the fuck shit that just happened.
Big Belts are the basic bitches lipo suction. #nevertrust a fine women in a big belt. Bitches walking around with these wwf belts looking like world champs and shit. I fell for it once but never again. This teqnique has been used since the old days with the invention of the corset. Its a cheap option for broke women that still wanna look good without going under the knife. Fellas pay attention to this Im puttin yall up on some game right now. I know all my female readers are mad that Im leaking your secrets to the public but fuck it, this is what Im here for. To spit the truth and nothing but the truth so help me god.

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Add 1 ounce Gin 1 ounce Rum 1 ounce tequila 1 ounce vodka 1 once of triple sec to a tall glass served over ice with a splash of coke for color. This drink was hand crafted by the devil himself. It is pure EVIL. Long Island ice tea is the new date rape drug. Avoid at all costs. You ever wonder why these drinks are soo cheap? Well fat bitches and bartenders have a secret alliance dating back to the early days with the invention of alcohol. Big girls main goal in the bar is to leave with somebody, 9 times out of 10 most dudes avoid the fat broads but add in a frosty treat such as this Long Island and things seem to go in their favor. Its like Long Islands have the power to turn a big bitch into Hale Berry. I have found myself in many questionable predicaments fucking with this shit. Last time I had a long island I woke up naked in a sleezy hotel with a fucking whale snoring her ass off on the bed in MY SHIRT! I mean come on man my shirt though? What am I supposed to do with it now? I cant wear that shit! Your big ass stretched that shit out now it looks like a parachute. New Years Eve, me and the fellas decided to go run a muck downtown at the clubs. This particular evening I had gotten off work late so when niggas picked me up I was the only sober one. Only losers party sober and Im a boss so when we got there I ordered two double shots of 151 just so I could catch up. After about 5 minutes I realized that I was still sober. Now if you know anything about drinking it can take up to an hour for the alcohol to fully absorb into the body before you feel its effects. So as you can see Im headed in the direction of an EPIC FAIL. So I hit the bar again, this time I ordered two long islands. I killed one in literally 3 seconds and as Im sipping the other one surprisingly I end up in the middle of a big ass circle of people screaming "Go Pot!! Go Pot!!" as Im getting jiggy with a fat broad. LMAO when did this happen? How did I get there? I don't even dance! Fuck it, I put it on her big ass, I looked like dancing with the stars up in that bitch. I headed to the bar and ordered two more.... This is where I blacked out and Im gonna have to tell the story from what my friends said happened. So apparently after I drank those drinks I hopped behind the bar and started pouring shots for people and drinking out the bottles. My friends said I was back there for a good 10 minutes before anyone asked me to leave. Madness! Security escorted me back to the dance floor. I took my shirt off hopped on stage and started doing the robot, I jumped into the crowd and crowd surfed until they dropped me on the floor near the bathroom. Niggas said I went behind the bar AGAIN and started passing out free beers!!!! Lol... Security asked me to leave so I left the club alone. Some how I ended up in 711 with my dick out pissing on the twinkies. I get tackled by 4 police officers mid piss and beat up with night sticks. All I remember is my home boy screaming in the background "Yo!!! Let him put his cock away!!! Let him put his cock away!" So now Im in the back of a police car with no pants headed to jail all because of Long Island Iced Tea. I did a lot of thinking that 2 days I sat in the cell. Fuck Long Island Iced Tea's and Fuck Long Island!


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Welp, the the end of the month is here and women all around the world have one thing in common, their period. I know this is something that all ladies have to deal with but why do you feel the need to discuss this with us dudes? If yall wanna talk about it fine, but I don't wanna hear that stuff. Its impossible to dodge these conversations. As soon as I walked into work this afternoon my coworker is all "O my gee, these cramps are killing me." I don't give a fuck about that nasty ass shit! Go be bloody some where else. It seems like yall have competitions about who can describe that shit in the nastiest way. Periods are disgusting. #nevertrust anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesn't die. I don't know if yall think its cute or something to tell guys about that stuff but you should stop. We think its nasty plain and simple. A women telling a man about her menstrual cycle is the number one turn off you could possibly do. Period talk has the ability to kill an erection faster then a toothy blow job. Tampons are nasty too. I don't wanna see or touch those things. If I ever got married and god forbid my wife was stretched out on her death bed and she needed me to run to the store to get some pads, I'd tell that bitch "Fuck atta here, bleed on yourself." Any man who buys feminine products for his significant other has no respect for his self and is a closet homo sexual. Im just calling it how I see it. I don't allow chicks to come chill with me between the 20th and the 31st of any month. If there is no sex involved then your wasting my time. All you red light runners across the world should kill yourselves too. I don't care how long you've been together or married, period sex is a FAIL. If it was up to me all couples having period sex would be tied naked to a pole and beat with a sock full of tampon applicators. Homie don't play dat. Fuck your cramps, fuck your spotting, fuck your migraines and shit, pop a midol shut up and leave period talk to yourselves, not us bro's.

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I never understood peoples fascination with Magnum condoms. That goes for men and women. Just because you use Magnums doesn't automatically mean you have a 13 inch cock. I remember this one time I had a chick over at my crib and Im gettin ready to hit dat you already know how I roll. She lays down on my bed strips her clothes off, I whip out a Life Style cause I like the snug fit they provide and she side eyes me and giggles. I look at her with the wtf face and she's all "What you bout to do with that little man." Little man! Is this bitch serious! She's already judging me before I even pull my meat out! Now Ill admit Im hung like an index finger but jeez at least let me whip it out before you laugh! I constantly here women running around talking about "My man use Magnums," "I only mess with dudes that fuck with that gold wrapper." Ok first of all women don't know the first thing about condoms, shit half of yall are allegedly "allergic" to latex, whores! Then you have the niggas running around talkin bout "I can only fit magnums," "Damn bro why you passing me that little ass durex." SMH. The same dudes saying that shit be the same niggas that can barely fit a normal condom. Magnums aint even that much bigger anyway! So now you have what we call "The Baggy Magnum." The Baggy Magnum is when a dude puts on a condom and that shit fits like a Tall Tee. Bottom of the condom be loose as fuck chillen around the balls and shit. Then every time he pull out its like 2 inches of extra condom dangling off the tip of his meat. No Homo I forgot to say that. The first latex condom was produced by Julius Fromm back in 1912. The first Trojan Magnum was produced in the early 2000's. How the fuck can't you fit a regular condom if thats all that was available before the year 2000? A regular size condom can fit comfortably over a human head.

Exhibit A:


A regular size condom can also fit comfortably over a human arm

Exhibit B:


So in order for you NOT to be able to fit a regular condom your dick would have to be approximately 3 feet long and as wide as watermelon turned sideways. Im not knocking people who use magnums, all Im trying to say is that they are not needed and don't judge a cock by the condom brand. That is all

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This has to be the ugliest hair style trend that I have ever seen in my entire life. What would make a person wake up one day and decide to shave half of their hair? That shit looks stupid. And what makes it worse is the ugly girls who try to pull this off. Pretty girls can get away with anything because they have the face to back it up, but you ugly women just screwed yourself. You set yourselves up for complete FAILURE. What are you gonna do when three months from now this trend is over? Your gonna have to cut ALL your shit. A lot of black women already have short ass nappy damaged hair, so when you add in all the new chicks that had to cut they shit, were gonna have a society of bald headed bitches looking like cancer patients to go along with the buckwheat head hoes. Shout out to all the women that do have healthy hair and know how to take care of they shit. Maybe if yall each found one bum hair as bitch and taught her what you know on some mentor shit then maybe we can end this nappy headed hoe disease thats plaguing the black community. Its hard enough for black chicks to take care of they hair so how you gonna care for that shit when its growing back from nothing with out the proper guidance? I can already picture what's going to happen. There's gonna be mad bitches with mini afros, finger waves, and short ass dreads looking a hot mess. I have a solution for you ugly broads though. You still have a chance to save yourselves. Go to your nearest barbershop, tell them to cut your whole head off and try to grow a new face along with your hair then maybe you'll be straight. If this Fail Cut trend gets any bigger imma have to start dating outside my race. I mean how dat look, me and my girl going to the barber together to get shape ups? Thats terrible and embarrassing. The barber shop is supposed to be a male rest haven where we can vent about what ever problems were going through. We can talk about bitches, music and what have you with out having to worry about offending anyone. All that will change once women start invading our space because they wanted to haul off and shave half they hair now they need our barbers to remedy the situation. In conclusion, ladies think about the consequences before you go through with such extreme hairstyles such as the Fail Cut. Just because something looks good on one chick, doesn't always mean it will look good on you. Ugly chicks, yall need to stay your ass in the house.

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So last night was game 7 of the NBA Finals Lakers vs Celtics. Me and the whole Arrogant Empire crew saddled up and hit Fridays 3 cars deep drunk and ready party. We got there and that shit was PACKED! Felt like we was at homecoming all the old faces I seen. After 4 long islands and 3 beers I have no idea who won lol! Alls I remember is sitting at a table with 4 random bitches that I just met and stealing one of the chicks wings all night haha! Good times. Honestly I don't care about sports. I never have. I hate watching them, shit is boring. Why would i wanna see a bunch of dudes running back and forth up a court trying to put a ball in a hole? I'd rather spend my time watching porn or a good movie Just sayin lol. Oh shit I almost forgot! Funny thing happened last night. I walked up to this group of 5 chicks that was sitting at a table and I noticed an empty seat. I said "You mind if I sit here for a second until a spot opens up at the bar?" Them bitches looked at me like "You look familiar whats your name?" I was like "Pot, whats good?" They was like "YOOOOOO!!!!!! Aint you the dude that said all light skinned bitches look like Rick Fox on that blog you wrote? Fuck YOU! You can't sit here!" I swear to god real talk that shit was crazy!!! Small world yo, one of them must follow me on twitter or something LMAO! After we left Fridays I have NO clue what happened next, all I remember is waking up on the living room floor with seasoning salt and hot sauce smeared all over my face. We must've hit the chicken spot or something Lol!

All light skinned women look EXACTLY the same. Matter fact all Light Skinned PEOPLE look exactly the same. I always have a hard time telling you's apart. All light skinned chicks look like Rick Fox from the LA lakers. Light skinned people think they are better then everybody for reasons that Im still confused about. Now before you hall off and start calling me a hater or reverse racist or whatever clever names you wanna call me let me get my point across. Light skinned women for the most part are super stuck up. You can't even say "Hi" to them without getting a sideways glance or straight up ignored. Who do you think you are? Your skin tone don't even match. Why is it that light skinned chicks have dark skinned vaginas? Well I'll tell you why, its because dark skinned women have the best pussy and the light skinned vagina is jealous so over time it evolved into a darker color. Its all science baby I payed attention in class. Light Skinned women are the biggest haters too! Have you ever observed a group of LS women together in the mall? I have, LS women don't go to the mall to shop, they go to crack jokes and hate on every other pretty and well dressed female in the building!

Light Skinned men are a whole nother story. LS dudes have what I like to call "The Yellow Mans Complex." Since most light skinned dudes are soft, they overcompensate in other aspects of their lives giving them a false sense of toughness. They are always the loudest most obnoxious people in the room. Have you ever seen a red bone gangster? Yeah me neither lol. The Yellow Mans Complex is similar to the Napoleon Complex but a lot worse. I did a study on domestic abuse statistics while attending university and in 58% of the cases, the aggressor was a Light Skinned male between the heights of 5'9" and 5'6" So quick message to the ladies, #NEVERTRUST a short light skinned dude. They will abuse you to make themselves feel strong.
Light skinned people are stuck between being white and being black so they live a confused life that often results in hatred towards darker or lighter individuals. With that being said where my dark skinned/ brown skinned ladies at. Holla at me

@supbishes

Old people fucking SUCK! I hate them! Always walking around like they're better then us cause they lived a long life and demanding respect and blah blah blah. Fuck You!! People shouldn't be aloud to live passed 60 years old yo. Old people are slow, ugly, annoying, and horrible drivers. Old people drive like asian women (No Racist). All this stems from the problems that I've been facing between me and my neighbors. I live in one of the "good" neighborhoods in Baltimore city. We just moved out the hood because of issues out of our control and I totally miss it. So now you have 3 young black males living in a house surrounded by old white people O_o . The day we moved in them niggas called the cops on us trying to say we're breaking in the house. The cops get there and start questioning me. I'm like "Nigga do you not see the 30 foot uhaul truck parked in the front!!! How the fuck are we breaking in!!!" Every time we pull up to our house you can see the old people staring at us through the shades trying to see what were up to. Sometimes I like to stand in the street with my cock out to give them old bastards a show. It's got to suck to be old. Old people don't do a THING all day but wait for reasons to complain and or call the cops. If you didn't know Im a pretty big music producer and my crew the Arrogant Empire is the best in the world, we have a studio in our basement. We can be reviewing new tracks in our headphones.. HEADPHONES!!!! And we'll get a knock on the door from the neighbors talking bout "Can you please turn the music down" At first I was polite and shit like yeah no problem -_- but now its to the point where its ridiculous. Last time the neighbor knocked on the door I told him straight up "If I see you on my porch one more time Imma take that cane and shove it up your wrinkled asshole faggot." I think he got the picture now ;) Sometimes I think I should just start fucking all the old women on my block to give them a treat and shut they ass up. I know thats all they want. They want this young meat. I should totally do it then have them give me money for my services, kinda like what a prostitute does except I wont be walking around in fishnets and leather skirts. Now that I think about it, Im bout to walk across the street naked with just my socks on and ask that old bitch if she wants some sex.... BRB

Yo I been busy as HELL the last few days trying to get my black ass back in school. Took me hours yesterday to complete the FAFSA. Now I got to run up to my old college to grab a copy of my transcripts and bring that all the way to my new school and sit in a financial aid office for hours. I know it'll all pay off at the end but sometimes I feel like they should make it a lil bit easier. I think they should make college like high school, it should be free to whoever chooses to go. Thats how it is in most countries. The United States is fucked up in a lot of ways that they handle certain things. Even health care should be free! I might just move my ass up to Canada and get free health care and free college education. Canada got the baddest bitches in the world anyway and they're all easy. First chick I met from Canada looked good as hell and I smashed the same night I met her like I knew her. Good times. Me being in college at the ripe age of 25 is gonna be awesome. Im at the perfect age, old enough to know what I gotta do and young enough to still holla at all those biddies walking around school. Imma network my ass off and start throwing parties. I might just change my name to Pot Diddy lol. Shout out to everyone who already finished school, its always easier to just say fuck it and quit so I respect yalls determination to finish. Im not dissing anyone who's choosing the no college route but I tried it and for me I think I'd rather have a degree to fall back on. Just cause you might be doing well in life NOW with out a degree don't mean that will be true forever. You could always wake up one day and lose your "high" paying job and now your screwed because you don't have that degree to fall back on and 9 times out of 10 employers require some sort of diploma or certification. Most young people don't think about the future, just because your a party promoter or DJ and your bringing in bank NOW doesn't mean it will last forever. One day your gonna get old, who's gonna book a 50 year old DJ? Who's gonna go to a club promoted by a balding middle aged man or a saggy breasted bitch? Nobody. You also have to take into consideration retirement money and the rising cost of health care. Fuck that Im going back to school lol. Imma grab up this degree while making this music, and live a wonderful life.

So after a certain time at night twitter sexual deviants go on a sex filled rampage of tweets showcased #twitterafterdark. The poor excuse to get people horny and worked up to just either masturbate or lay in the bed sexually frustrated begins. Its kind of funny because I've been on twitter for like a year #nshit and seen only one person say "fuck this I'm going to have sex". Which leads me to believe how many other sex lives are that dry to the point they have to resort but to talk it up on twitter.

Now not saying they don't have a sex life but 65% don't. Then there's a split of 20-15. 20% that sex life isn't as vivid that they express on twitter but then that 15% that are bonified semi-pornstars lol. Now in that 65% there resides the people that are waiting for something more fulfilling, those that simply can't find anyone worth it, there's those that still want their exxxes and then there's those that just can't get laid. But in any case its funny reading those hormone on steroid filled tweets and I'm thinkin "bitch you aint really doin all that in those sheets". Wait so you mean to tell me you really doing a handstand while gettin banged out screaming "take this pussy"? When you start seeing tweets like "melt chocolate on my pussy and lick it up" or "stick a lit candle in my pussy watch my wet wet put it out", its like word?! That's how you giving it up? I need that in my life lol.

I honestly think some people just have very vivid imaginations and their LOG IN names allows them to carry out their fantasies every though sexually they'll never reach that peak or experimental phase. I'm not hatin' on ya acts, I'm just stating simply stating facts. But me personally, I'm not one to talk about it. If we fuckin I'ma show you what I'm about. You won't need to see me go IN on #twitterafterdark especially if this aint amounting to YOU still aint giving me no pussy! #WhatsThePoint #IDontGetIt #FuckOuttaHere!

Yea I know some twitter after darkers gonna read this and be mad like I'm taking shots at them but I'm really not. The proof is in the doing not the saying... So if you ain't proving what you saying it's not worth speaking on period. Until someone goin ratchet on twitter after dark says "Rob fuck me then" and show me what their typing is real #wedontbelieveyou...

Signing off
Rob Ima_Writer Grant

So me and @AyeCiCiBee were arguing on twitter about dick size no homo. And she kept telling me that she only dates dudes with little dicks. The argument got pretty heated so she decided to put it in blog form and strangely..... I agree with her O_o BRB cutting my dick in half

What's up with women wanting nice looking, big dick men who can throw down in the sheets? Am I the only woman left in the world who wants the pinky dick from an ugly man for a solid 2 minutes? #nevertrust a man with a big dick and a pretty smile. Let me tell you the woes of having a good lookin man with a big dick who's good at sex. He's too confident. He has a 3rd arm hanging between his legs for goodness sake! He knows he doesn't need you. He's not gonna provide for you bc he's already giving you nightly seizures between the sheets. He will play songs that say the word 'independent' during sex and before you know it he's moved in and your favorite words are: "It's cool, I got it." I've noticed that most big dick men have a smell about them. They attract you with the cologne but if you sniff a little deeper you'll smell the putrid smell of a dirty clothes hamper. They're not used to doing their own laundry so they're looking to attract someone who will. You'll never get any sleep with this kind of man bc during the day you'll be cooking and cleaning while you're not at work and at night of course you'll be getting broken off. PLUS they snore!!!

Now with the ugly, pinky dick, 2 minute men, they're so embarrassed at their girth (or lack of it) and their inability to last during sex that they make up for it with great head, gifts, and romantic outings. They buy you flowers for no reason and their favorite words are "don't you worry bout a thing". They look in the mirror and don't like what they see so they do a lot to make you smile. They do YOUR laundry, cook for you, and even beg you to move in. They smell like dryer sheets and downy. Your marriage is sure to last long while you probably won't even get a true commitment from the good lookin guy. I've also noticed that these men usually have very hairy bodies and they wear weird shoes.

Note that sometimes you'll run across an ugly one with a large penor or a pretty one with a tiny piece. Stay FAR away from them! They're in an awkward position so they're constantly confused. That confusion often times turns into aggression so they're mostly women beaters. Most of the male substance abusers fall into this category also.

The moral of the story is this: If you want a good man choose an ugly one, even though his penis is tiny, scream like he has a mandingo, and feed him lies about his looks every now and then to boost his ego. BUT. If you want good sex and pretty babies, prepare to work hard, sleep less, and put up with the everyday trials and tribulations that come with a big dick and a pretty smile.

Personally I have a little dick ugly guy. He wears velcro sandles with knee socks and he smells like bounce sheets. Our sex is horrible but I'm happy bc I cheat as often as possible. Nobody better tell him about this blog though bc his confidence will just go even further down the drain. #pinkydicks4life.

Follow me on twitter @AyeCiCiBee

I wrote this When, I seen a A mother Slap the BULLSHIT, outta her Daughter, so I had Quick Inspiration....ENJOY!

Fellas listen up Im bout to put yall up on some game. Its called the Wink face text message. This is the most powerful tool when your trying to get some ass from a chick in a direct, offensive way. You can say anything you want to a chick as long as you end it with a ;) For instance. "You should totally let me fuck you in the ass later bitch ;)" <---- You see that well placed wink face at the end of the statement? If you were to end it with a question mark then that is grounds to get cursed out or fucked up. But how can you get mad at a wink face? You can't! Its full proof. Because if they do get mad which they won't you could always reply back "hahaha I was just fucking wit you" It kinda leaves it open ended and throws the women off balance. You can't wink face everything though it has to be offensive. The offensive shit has a 56% success rate because chicks dig an honest nigga plus they think the wink is cute. If all else fails and you can't talk yourself out of the situation and she's actually upset you can bail yourself out with the sad face :( but thats a last resort. This technique only works if you follow the directions precisley. You can't haul off and start sending Remixes to the wink face like (O_-) Or ;-) It just wont work and you'll end up with a foot up your ass. Heres a few examples of some success and some failures. Try it out my niggas and enjoy. I wanna hear your success stories after you try it out

This attempt was a success because I got right to the point



This isn't a complete failure, I coulda got a Yes if I would have been more disrespectful. Take notes Fellas



Now these two go to show that you can't say ANYTHING with a wink face text. You have to do it just right!

Why do chicks be lying about how much sex they have? Like us dudes believe that bullshit. Who do you think your fooling? Stop frontin all the time. I was texting this chick that I fucked a few times a couple years ago named Stacey. We both had a few drinks and I hit her up on some random drunk shit cause thats what I do. She was telling me how the last time she had sex was November of this year.... Why say that? Its an obvious lie. Real talk the same nigga you telling that you aint get no dick in ages to, is the same nigga you end up giving the pussy to. Now let me break it down even further. Niggas don't talk on the phone, EVER. Any nigga who talks on the phone is a faggot. Bitches talk on the phone constantly. So lets do the math, Your average chick talks to 7.23 dudes she aint spoke to in a while every day. In 42% of those conversations she spits the same game, "I can't remember the last time I had sex, its been so long, I've been deprived." Theres 7 days in a week. 7 x 7.23 x 42% = Bitch theres no way you not gettin fucked on a daily basis. I respect yall hustle though because for the most part men are stupid. Now I'm not into bashing my niggas (Shouts out to the dead beat dads #TeamGetLowOnTheChildSupportPayments) but yall gotta stop falling for these lies! Women have higher sex drives then men and they can get sex effortlessly. What makes you think that when a chick tells you she aint gettin none she's telling the truth? The only women who don't get sex everyday are fat bitches and chicks that live with their parents. If a women is horny all she has to do is walk outside and show just a little bit of skin and niggas will flock to her. All she gotta show is her achilles tendon and mufuckas is on her cock trying to smash and shit. Shout out to the lonely bitches though. All up on twitter after dark talking bout how they wanna get fucked and how much cock they wanna suck but yall be stingy with the pussy. Be generous. Pass that shit out like free condoms. Bitches be complaining about not getting fucked but don't wanna fuck nobody. This blogger is lost! Im straight up confused. I don't understand you hoes sometimes. Can someone out their shed some light on this issue for me?

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I like my pussy like I like my wine.... Dry. Dry as hell. I come from a privileged up bringing. My father was an astronaut and mother was a brain surgeon so Im no fool. The first thing I remember my father telling me as a child (R.I.P.) is #nevertrust a women who's pussy stays wet. Seriously, think about it, whats the real advantage of a wet pussy? Go head tell me I'll wait............ Wet pussy is nothing but trouble. My pops never told a lie and I live by his guidance. The majority of women with wet pussy and I'll go as far as to say 95% of them are sex crazed maniacs. When a pussy is wet that means 1. your horny all the time or 2. you have some sort of std that I don't want no parts of. Never wife a chick who pussy stay wet because if your not around to feed her never ending sexual appetite, she will mount the nearest penor or penor shaped object then take it to the grave that she did nothing wrong. Death to all moist vaginas. The first symptom of an std is vaginal discharge...When the lights are out and your having raw dog sex with a one night stand bitch, how can you tell if thats wet pussy or diseased pussy? You can't! So don't trust it. Before I get serious with any woman, I perform the "Swipe test." Take your index and middle fingers and swipe the pussy, then discretely act like your nose itches and scratch it with those same fingers you swiped with. Thats a technique us niggas were born with, not taught, to see how the pussy smells before we eat it. I took it a step further and added a second part. After I get the smell, I quickly examine my fingers for moistness. If either of those shits are wet, even a tad, then its a no go. I don't like wet pussy.
Dry pussy is for the win because you don't have to worry about cumming to quick. If the pussy is wet then niggas gotta take a few shots of whatever just to get "the mouse on the wheel" (shouts to Mont) to last past 2 minutes. Now riddle me this. Lets say you just took a trip to columbia and you might wanna bring something back (we ballers and ballers frequent destinations like this) if you got a wet pussy bitch with you, where you gonna stash the coke? The bitch gonna be so turned on by the "thrill of things" that that the balloon's gonna slide out the pussy. #TeamDesertSnatch don't gotta worry bout that cause once the coke is nestled in the vagee, that mufucka is gonna stay put till we ready for her to cough it out. I can go on forever about the benefits of #teamDesertSnatch but Ill leave it right here. Post up your comments

Yo this is good music shout out to my nigga RAV P!! I like this a lot my nigga!!! Why the fuck is it only 11 minutes long?!! I need the full version of all this shit my nigga don't do that. Im already mad you aint spit on one of my tracks on this shit, you know I need at least 5 tracks on everybody cd. Im looking forward to the album too. Follow Rav P on twitter @therealravp Jersey stand up. Download this teaser album and bang it loud.

In the english language dictionary Butt is defined as: the end or extremity of anything, esp. the thicker, larger, or blunt end considered as a bottom, base, support, or handle, Usually, buttocks.
a.
(in humans) either of the two fleshy protuberances forming the lower and back part of the trunk.
b.
(in animals) the rump.

The human buttocks main function is to get rid of solid waste from food that we consume through out the day. This brings me to my point. Why do ugly girls think they are the shit just because they have a big butt? You poop from there! Thats disgusting. You mean to tell me that Im supposed to worship you just because you have an oversized booty? And society don't make it any better, you got ugly ass women like Delicious from the flavor of love with huge fame and fortune and modeling contracts only because the size of her ass. How does that make you feel that niggas only like you because of your ass? Im talking about the type of chicks that you ONLY hit doggy style because you can't stand the site of their faces. It kinda upsets me because most niggas in the world pump these ugly chicks heads up telling them how beautiful they are and having sex with them face to face smooching them and tricking on em boosting their self esteems to the point where they actually believe that they look good. I hate niggas like that. Its one thing if your drunk late night and just trying to get a quick nut off, treat it like that!! Don't be telling these busted ass hoe's that you love them and your gonna marry them and shit, thats just corny as hell. You guys are fucking the game up. Another thing I noticed about chicks with phat asses is thier breath usually smells horrible. Phat asses and bad breath go hand in hand. Not to mention chicks with phat asses usually have the ugliest feet you've ever seen. So what do we got? Unattractive chicks with phat asses, hammer toes, and bad breath walking the streets like they Stacey Dash or something. Sit yo ass down. Now I'm not saying I hate big butts or nothing like that, of course I like them, big butts are a real treat for me, but you phat ass hoes need to realize something. When your ass is that big, all the attention is directed to your lower extremities so PLEASE make sure your jeans are clean. On many occasions I find myself walking behind a woman with a big ass butt and while Im watching that mufucka wobble left and right I notice that your jean pockets in the back are dirty O_o. Thats just nasty yo. What's the deal with a lot of women not doing their laundry? Not to stray of topic but I remember I had this bad little jawn come through the crib one day, I knew something was up when I told her I had a no shoe policy in the crib and her smile faded away. When that bitch took her shoes off I noticed her socks were dirty, not just regular dirty but brown on the bottom dirty and stiff around the top kinda like the socks niggas jerk off into. That bitch had on the "nut socks." I aint gonna front I still boinked her but Im just saying that's just nasty yo real talk. In my short time on earth I've realized I like my women built like little boys (no homo) flat chested with no butt. I like chicks with no body because they usually look the best and wear clean clothes. Skinny girls try harder in the bed because they feel like they got something to prove. Big butt girls can't take dick for nothing, they be like pushing you away and screaming and shit. I was fucking this PHAT ass chick one day and my roommate was all concerned because of all the rawkus. I told her and I quote "Shut up yo, the dick aint that good." You gotta be firm with these chicks. If they don't wanna shut up then you smother they head with a pillow. That can cause a problem too because I actually had a chick pass out on me because I held the pillow too tight so I don't even bother with thick girls no more, too much trouble. Ass aint everything niggas need to cut it out. You not a model and you aint a dime just because your butt is large. #ThatisAll

This morning at 3:13 am my IPod passed away. I literally cried myself to sleep. 50 gigs of music gone forever. If you ever had the pleasure of listening to my Pod then you know I had the baddest one on the block. My shit had EVERYTHING from Tribe Called Quest, to the DMX vs Cannibus Mix-tape, I had old DJ Clue tapes, every current album and a secret stash of unreleased music from my own group. It was so bad that you could put my joint on shuffle and not have to worry about skipping anything cause every song was crack. Everyone who owns a Pod knows that ONE DAY its going to fail on you but you try not to think about it. Why me, why so soon? I've only owned it for 1 year. Its crazy how it went down. Me and Asi Frio had just downloaded that new Rick Ross and that new T.I. mixtapes and right as he connected my joint to the computer it wouldn't sync. Then itunes froze up and the computer started tripping. We have a Mac in the studio so I wasn't bugging, I unplugged my Pod and restarted the computer thinking nothing of it. When I rebooted my ipod it said there was no music on it. I tried rebooting it a few more times and still it said "no music." The weird thing about it is that when I checked the hard drive space it shows that I have 50 Gigs of space used! Well why isn't the music showing on the actual unit? I tried reconnecting it to the computer and searching the hidden music folder. All my songs are still there but somehow they got corrupted. I'm kinda hesitant to format it because I don't want to completely clear the joint. I still have a glimmer of hope being that the songs are still there. Looks like I need to take a trip to the Apple Store. I will keep everyone updated on the situation.

1. "Fireworks" (featuring Alicia Keys)
2. "Karaoke"
3. "The Resistance"
4. "Over"
5. "Show Me a Good Time"
6. "Up All Night" (featuring Nicki Minaj)
7. "Fancy" (featuring T.I. and Swizz Beatz)
8. "Shut It Down" (featuring The Dream)
9. "Unforgettable" (featuring Young Jeezy)
10. "Light Up" (featuring Jay-Z)
11. "Miss Me" (featuring Lil Wayne)
12. "Cece's Interlude"
13. "Find Your Love"
14. "Thank Me Now"